I Stopped Being a People Pleaser the Day I Became Someone’s Mother
Some days, I just cannot.
Editor’s Note
This anonymous story comes from a mom who realised that motherhood did not make her a people pleaser, but taught her to protect her energy, her child, and the family she worked so hard to build. Every mother walks her own path, and this is hers to share in the hope that someone out there might feel a little less alone.
I think the main thing that has changed is that I was quite a people pleaser. But I think it is none of that anymore. I have no intention to please anyone anymore, because the goal for me back then, for most days of my life, was to just make everybody happy.
I do not need to settle. I do not need to put up with other people’s nonsense, because it does not make them happy.
Now, especially that I am a mother, I realise the need to please other people becomes a bit more obvious, because there is family or friends who demand so much from you. This is on top of this child you brought into the world and the lifestyle that you have.
But then I realised that sometimes it is just about what I need, what she needs, and what my family needs. This family I worked so hard to build. This family I wanted for so long. That is all.
So if they cannot jive with it, then it is okay. You can carry on and I will carry on, and we can all live our lives.
Somehow, as a mother, everybody expects you to bring your child everywhere, like parade her and be like, “Oh look look look look.”
I do not want to parade my child. I just want her to sleep, eat, be happy, and be comfortable. I do not need to focus on how you want her to be a certain way, or that I have to present her to be a certain way.
I think that was my biggest weakness. I was a major people pleaser. And I think it is because of my jobs, because I work in the service industry, so I am always out to please other people. But being a mom now, I do not want to. I cannot even find it in me to want to please anyone anymore, because it is so tiring, and I have to attend to everybody’s demands. And it is not like they want to attend to my demands.
If it is not important, if it is not necessary, and if it does not serve anybody in a positive way, then what is the point?
You nak jaga hati orang, ada orang nak tak jaga hati you? So that is that.
#RealMomRealities
#RealMomRealitiesAnonymous