“I’ve always felt like I could do it all myself, so why should I stay?”

Real Mom Realities

I have four kids, and I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for the last twelve years. That’s my life. And I’ve been proud of it. But lately, I’ve been thinking about leaving my husband. Not in some explosive, dramatic way. It’s just this quiet realization that’s been building up for years.

I’ve always known I could do this on my own. I’ve been running the house, raising the kids, keeping everything together. I do it all. And then it hit me—if I’m already doing it all, why am I staying? What is he really bringing to the table? I know that sounds harsh. He’s not a bad guy. He’s a good dad, and he provides. But emotionally? I’ve been doing this alone for a long time.

It wasn’t one big fight or anything like that. It’s been more like this slow drift. One day, we were a team, and then one day, we weren’t. I just kept telling myself, “Michelle, focus on the kids. Be grateful. You have a good life.” And I am grateful. But I’m also exhausted. So damn tired.

I think about divorce almost every day now. But it terrifies me. I don’t have a career to fall back on. I’m looking for extra work just to start building some independence. And I hate that I even have to. Financially, I’m tied to him. And I never wanted to rely on anyone else like that. But here I am.

Still, I know I can do it. I’ve raised four kids. If I can manage that, I can figure this out. I’ve got the skills. I’ve been running this house like a CEO. If I can survive the chaos of motherhood, I can make it work in the world, right?

It’s not anger driving me. It’s more about needing to feel like myself again. I’ve spent years shrinking, fitting into a role that doesn’t feel like mine anymore. I want to expand. I want to see what I can do when I’m not holding onto something that isn’t serving either of us anymore.

It’s not even about him. It’s about me. It’s about reclaiming my life.