Editor’s Note:
This In-Between post is my personal experience and how I understand the schooling phase as a mom who is still figuring things out. At Mama’s Here, everyone’s journey looks different; the only thing we all share is that we are trying our best with what we know.
I remember in my first year of motherhood, I was hanging out with some mom friends who had kids a few years older than my daughter. One of my favourite things about spending time with an *experienced mom* was the accessibility to ask about what to potentially expect in that future phase of life, how they dealt with those things, and being able to reflect on their experience and choose how I would apply that to my own journey in motherhood.
*Experienced mom: Moms who have had children for x amount of years longer than you have.*
Most of the time, leaving them made me feel a lot more encouraged and mentally prepared for what is to come in motherhood, except for one thing: School. As soon as I got to that subject matter, my brain literally became tersekat. Why? Because everyone has a different take on what kind of education their kids should receive. And basically you are on your own. And you have to start asking yourself these questions:
1) How old do you want to send your kid to school?
2) Which kindergarten should you choose?
3) Should it be more montessori or academic?
4) Which primary school did you have in mind to send her to?
5) Is she going to a government school or private or international school?
6) Can you even afford private or international school?
7) Will you be able to afford for her to go to college abroad so is it even necessary to consider international stream?
8) Should I just homeschool them instead?
9) She is only three, is she not too young for me to have this discussion?
And the list goes onnnnnn. If you can relate to this feeling, join the club.
I always promised myself to have a more casual approach in a lot of things since I became a mom, but this one made me feel uneasy, and it certainly needed more thought process, reasoning, and attention.
Why? Well, apart from the obvious: your child will spend a lot of time there, I have my reasons why I feel confused about this.
You see, the majority of my education was in a government school, and I had the privilege to experience a private school setting in Form 4 and Form 5. So I am very lucky to have experienced both worlds, but that is exactly what it is. They are two worlds apart.
While each school had their strengths and weaknesses, looking back now, to be honest, I would not have changed anything about the school per se, but more on how I could have benefitted from it.
As a kid, I was the type who did not pay a lot of attention, sometimes I ponteng sekolah, barely finished my homework, but there were moments where I would get involved in a lot of extra curricular activities, I even joined a few competitions here and there, and I did well in some subjects more than others.
Friendship wise, I am still friends with my friends from both schools. I am very grateful for that. So all in all I had a decent experience.
But here is the big but.
Every kid has very very very different needs, and certainly has very very different learning styles. And it took me about fifteen years after SPM to learn; what I had experienced in both schools was NOT my learning style.
In case you’re not familiar with learning styles, here’s a list below:
Types of learning styles
Visual: Do they learn best by looking at charts, diagrams, pictures, or books? Do they prefer to read or see instructions?
Auditory: Do they enjoy listening to stories, music, or conversations? Do they remember information better after hearing it spoken aloud?
Kinesthetic: Are they hands on learners who learn by doing? Do they prefer activities like building, drawing, or playing sports?
Logical: Do they enjoy categorising things, solving puzzles, or recognising patterns?
Not to say that I have actually identified MY learning style, but is this not exactly what we need?
For our kids to determine what is the best school environment to send them, and for the schools to know the kind of environment they can set for the kids?
Yes, there are a lot of obstacles, errors, or dislikes towards the education system, and our teachers have seen better days, and sometimes we have seen better teachers. But collectively as parents, what do you think?
I know ultimately, we have to work with what we have, as some of us are not as lucky to be able to give our children wide options on which school is best for them.
But maybe, just maybe, if we know who our kids are, like how we may have wished we knew ourselves when we were children, maybe we can make some difference.
That if we equipped them with the tools that are suited for them, that if we campak them into any school, they would be able to adapt and excel in the environment they are in.
At the end of the day, we are doing our best for them.
And as my dear friend Nash said,
“We want to raise our kids to be good people for society, that is a goal for a mom. We do not want to raise assholes.”