Editor’s Note:
This In-Between post is my personal reflection on my journey in motherhood. At Mama’s Here, everyone’s stories look different; the only thing we all share is that we are trying our best with what we know.
It’s a brand new year! And as if 2025 wasn’t crazy enough, needless to say, it has been an overwhelming, adventurous start to the new year already. And I don’t say this lightly because it’s ONLY day 9 of 2026!
My daughter turned 3 in November, and just this week, she started school for the first time. It is day 5, and after our morning routine of getting her ready, dropping her off, and watching her dramatically run into school screaming and crying, I go home, pour myself a cup of tea, and find myself sitting at my table, staring into space, suddenly realising that I have entered a new era in life.
The “I have several hours before I have to pick my kid up from school” era.
Over the first four days, those hours were filled with catching up on pending work and errands, but today was different. I actually had quiet time and started reflecting a little on our morning routine. This morning, after telling her she had to go to school, she told me, “No, I don’t want to.” I didn’t get mad. In fact, I laughed and nearly cried a little, because here in front of me was a three-year-old, negotiating and buying time before having to get ready for school.
I think as a parent, one of the things we often think or say is… how time flies so fast. And every year, we face a new set of challenges. My friend Emily, who has done an amazing job raising her son, says that the old processes and systems she used to apply in parenting don’t work anymore because her son is also changing and reaching different developmental stages. This is true for every child, but then it got me thinking about us mothers and fathers. Surely our processes and systems need changing too, and one way to do so is to frequently, if not yearly, reflect on our parenting journey, like our very own docuseries of Parenting: Through The Years.
(Cue in dramatic ’90s documentary intro music.)
Before we get started, it is important for us to have at least a few hours of uninterrupted (is this possible?) time, which is why my favourite time to ponder is:
After school drop-offs
Late night after the kids are sleeping
When stuck in traffic in the car alone
On the toilet? (If you’re the type to spend 30 minutes in there)
It’s important to make the right reflections on your parenting journey, and one starting point is knowing how to reflect. If you want to get technical about it, you can check out Gibbs’ Reflective Cycle. It is one of the most well-known cyclical models of reflection, leading you through six stages of exploring an experience: description, feelings, evaluation, analysis, conclusion, and action plan (as stated on the website).
Reflection looks different for everyone because it comes from personal experience. What matters most is this: reflecting is about how you feel, not what they did. So we’re not about to point fingers at anyone, no matter how tempting it might be.
And while I invite you to take a moment to reflect on your parenting journey, I’d like to share some of mine, based on my experience.
Year One (0–1)
The first year taught me a lot about taking better care of myself. The most common things to happen in the newborn phase are the lack of sleep, the change in hormones, wanting to take charge of everything because no one can do it better than you, and the belief that the baby comes first while the shower comes later, or sometimes not at all. I miss this phase, and I don’t at the same time, because while I enjoyed how tiny my daughter was, I hated how much I neglected to feed myself well or just love myself a little better. And honestly, it’s not even about “me time”. I wish I hadn’t insisted on doing everything alone when I could have incorporated something like yoga or walking with my baby. I felt like I made so many excuses, when the reality was that I just didn’t love myself that much.
Year Two (1–2)
During the second year, things got so much better in the self-care and delegation category. As I watched my daughter grow, it felt natural to want to spend time with people who could grow with her, and with myself too. The major theme that year was friendship, as some friendships were made and others broken. Based on my personal experience, making a mom friend who eventually becomes part of your inner circle is not easy. I think I forgot that just because other moms might understand what you’re going through, the reality is that they are still very different people. So the same rules of friendship apply. Do you share the same values and principles? Or even more simply, what are you looking for in a friendship?
Year Three (2–3)
Then there was year three. We got lucky that we missed out on the terrible twos for most of the year. But I think the focus during this phase was on how, whether they realised it or not, there is a sense of expectation from society. And the reality is that it doesn’t always translate to what you think your idea of success should be. That year, I learned that my definition of success was to take things one step at a time, at a slower pace, so I could appreciate every moment.
All in all, it the past 3 years have been beautiful. And even though every year may feel like its own challenge, at the end of the day, it brings us wisdom, and every story fills a chapter in the journey of our lives.
What has your journey looked like? Comment below and let me know!